About My Journey
Hi, I am Esther Sadie Brandon and I am so glad you are here 🍂
My parents were good and loving people, and they had experienced trauma. We now know that caregivers’ unresolved trauma is a critical factor that contributes to an insecure attachment relationship with their child.
What is attachment?
Why is it important?
From my journey of repair and healing, I learned how secure attachment contributes to the growth and repair of our nervous system throughout our life time. As I found the resources, I opened a way to begin a journey to see the light that comes from the darkness.
…shadow and light source both…Rumi
To learn more about secure and insecure attachment, I invite you to visit my Resources page.
“Mindfulness is about being fully awake in our lives. It is about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment. We feel more alive. We also gain immediate access to our own powerful inner resources for insight, transformation and healing.”
A Window Into My Story
Thirty five years ago years ago, I wandered into a workshop titled Mindfulness, led by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and a way opened for me to repair my trauma woundedness. Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment non-judgmentally, with kindness and curiosity.
For the next 19 years, I was the director of an undergraduate education field training office at a local college. I developed a relationship-based field experience program, which included teaching students, field supervisors, adjunct faculty, and school district administrators, mindfulness tools and practices. I have warm memories of teaching and practicing with these dedicated educators.
I retired from the college, which by then had become a university, in 2012. A community of friends and colleagues, and work that nourished my purpose, were no longer in my life. After I retired, I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. I’m 10 years well. My traumatic early childhood experiences had made my nervous system particularly vulnerable, and the stress, the hormones, the fear and uncertainty overwhelmed my system.
I was working with a therapist who was highly recommended and was traditionally trained. She was kind and compassionate and was not trauma informed. She encouraged me to talk about the memories and feelings from the past that were arising. I needed to softly turn towards and process the trauma that had been stuck in my body for too long. I needed to softly resolve and integrate the energy and information in digestible bits, as I was ready. Talking about what happened was re-traumatizing.
My system collapsed, and I became clinically depressed. And then I was in a time of darkness. I struggled to stay alive. I was taken to a local hospital by two dear friends. In the hospital the cumulative, residual trauma woundedness that had broken my connection with life became a force of resurgence of my life.
When I recovered enough physically, the doctors were planning to send me to a local hospital psychiatric ward. I knew the conditions of state funded locked psychiatric wards. I knew I would not receive the care I needed. The force of my trauma experiences had caused an undercurrent of woundedness in my life, and had given me resolute resilience. Although I had lost a third of my body weight, I somehow found the strength to lead the charge to find a healing place that would take my insurance.
Reclaiming my agency opened a gateway to reconnect with myself. My steps forward were a life force that were both wavering and filled with clarity and strength. It was a time of softly feeling layers of grief and loss, which has opened my heart to forgiveness and love. It was a quiet time of finding the light you do not expect to find in the darkness, and seeing the quest for our wholeness as a heroic journey.
I am looking forward to connecting with you.
Trainings & Accreditations:
M.S.Ed. Master of Science in Education, Leadership in Early Childhood Education, Wheelock College, Boston, MA
Retired, Director of the Undergraduate Education Field Placement Office, Lesley University, Cambridge, MA.
Co-Active Coach, Coaching Training Institute (CTI), Affiliated with ICF (International Coaching Federation) Accredited Coach Training Program, (ACTP)
International Coaching Federation (ICF) Certified Coach
Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra Guide
Certificate of Completion: The Mindfulness Teaching Training Program, The Institute for Jewish Spirituality, New York City
Certificate of Completion: The Mindsight Approach To Well-Being: A Comprehensive online program of study in Interpersonal Neurobiology, with Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, Mindsight Institute, UCLA, Santa Monica.
Polyvagal Theory for Embodied Trauma Recovery: Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP) Certification Training
Certificate of Completion: The Spiritual Healing Journey Online Course, The Academy of Inner Science, (2024 LIVE) Taught by Thomas Hubl
Healing Trauma: IPNB Clinical Strategies for Applying the 9 Domains of Integration toward Deep Therapeutic Growth (2023 Live), with Dr. Daniel J. Siegel
Applied Polyvagal Theory in Therapeutic Yoga For Trauma Recovery, The Embody Lab 10 hour Master Training Level 3, with Dr. Arielle Schwartz & Dr. Stephen Porges
Certificate of Completion: The Neuroscience of Change, Coaches Rising, Live Online Coach Training
Certificate of Completion: The Academy of Inner Science. Connect, Restore, Reclaim: 12 hours of live on-line training. Taught by Thomas Hubl, Author, Healing Collective Trauma A Process For Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds, and Dr. Richard Schwartz, Creator, Internal Family Systems
“Serving makes us aware of our wholeness and its power. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life.”
— Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D